I'm forcing myself to write a post because I'm afraid that if I don't do one soon I will give up on the whole blog thing. It's not that I have no ideas its just that when I actually sit down at the computer what seemed like a really good idea a minute ago suddenly seems like the stupidest thing in the world. Mainly I don't think I will give the idea justice and it will be underdeveloped. When I decided to start this thing I was in a mood where my brain was just buzzing with ideas and I felt like I could achieve anything, it made it really easy to write, now not so much. My brain is just felling a little blah. But here goes.
So on Saturday I went and played mini-golf. Now I know I said this wouldn't be a diary but it exposed an interesting part of my personality which I would like to pick apart for the world to see. The thing is I hated it. I have asked to be excused from ever playing mini-golf again. Why? Well for one I sucked at it. Now I have never been good at anything related to sport and the hand eye coordination stuff and I accept that, but there is nothing like not being able to use a mini-golf club to hit a golf ball so that it rolls into a hole 1-2 meters away to make you feel like the worlds biggest failure. The concept is so simple how can someone be bad at it? Now there are two things that make the whole process worse. First mini-golf is usually an activity chosen when you have a group of people of different ages and the weather is too good to justify going 10 pin bowling (might I add another thing I am not good at), it's individual and competitive. So it's not nice when everyone else got a hole in 2 hits when you stopped counting at 7. The second thing is the scoring system. Whereas in 10 pin bowling each point is an achievement, in mini-golf the aim is to get the lowest score. That means that every time you go to swing the club you are in effect preparing to do worse at the game. There is no time to just have fun with it.
Now this is all very theoretical because in reality it was just me and my mum playing mini-golf because we had some vouchers that needed to be used up. This was good because I didn't have to hide my disappointment. I would play each hole until I got what I considered to be an acceptable score. I admit that this was childish I'm too old to be the kid who tips up the board game just because they are losing, but in reality on my second go I would almost always half my original score. And hey I got my money's worth and I didn't hold anyone up so why shouldn't I give myself a chance to do better. I would like to point out that if I had been with friends I would suck it up and laugh off my failure so I am embarrassed that I had 18 mini tantrums in a 1 hour period.
So why does not being good at mini-golf bother me? I mean who really cares? And considering that I have played it on average no more than once a year it's not surprising that I didn't magically become a golfing master. Why cannot I lose gracefully and accept that I have other talents (mostly of an academic nature)?
I have to accept that my ability to play mini-golf is not a reflection on my worth or success as a person.
Wow, how deep of me. = P Still from now on if ever someone suggests we go mini-golfing I will suggest we see a movie.
Monday 15 July 2013
Tuesday 2 July 2013
Making The World A More Complicated Place One Thought At A Time
I fear I have done the unforgivable. I Insert Name Here have become addicted to a Facebook game. Actually this is not the first time that it has happened but I as a rule generally avoid Facebook games. But a lot rules get broken during study break. I feel embarrassed about this slip up because I think that if people saw that I play the game they will think that I don't have a life. For the record I don't think that when I see that my friends play Facebook games but of course my thinking is irrational like the silly teenage girl that I am.
So I set the settings so that only I can see anything that game posts which usually is fine but with this particular game (which I will not name for fear that I might say something offensive about it) once you get to a curtain point to continue you have to get three people (other players I think but you may send requests to non players) to 'help' you get to the next part of the game. Now helping you is as simple as clicking the button to say they accept your request but as I an about to try and explain the whole thing gets quite nerve-racking.
So there are two groups of people you would consider. The first is your semi close friends that are non players. These are the people who care enough about you to take the time to pretend to play the game and accept the request but don't care enough to worry about the fact that you have spent hours getting to this point and that by them helping you they will be enabling this new addiction. The second group is of course other addicts, your friends who are already players. The first targets would be those who are past you in the game firstly because someone had to help them across so they kinda owe it to the world to help others and secondly because these are the hard core addicts who will see helping you as an opportunity, if they help you, you will help them when they need to get across to future levels. So what you have is this group of people secretly bonded by the same dirty little secret relying on each other for our next 'hit' as it were.
Now the sad thing is probably not the fact that I or anyone else play the game but how much thought I personally have put into the politics of playing it. Like I said to help you get across the all the person has to do is click their mouse. It's not like I'm asking for something big so why am I so worried about who I ask, these people are my friends!!! Being self conscious makes life so much more complicated.
Also like I said this is an addiction, I don't even like the game anymore. Well I do but in some self destructive way not in a fun way. Like I have mentioned in previous posts, I have an addictive personality. It's a good thing that that the things I expose myself to and become addicted to are limited to relatively harmless things like T.V shows and Internet based games.
So as you can see I'm using my holiday time in an extremely productive manner. (Please note the sarcasm, I'm no that deluded)
In the time it has taken for me to write this post my lives have been slowly replenishing so once I press publish I will painfully use them up and then go have lunch.
Maybe next time I'm about to start playing a Facebook game I will stop and think before I go down this dark road again. Who am I kidding, after the first level I will be hooked.
So I set the settings so that only I can see anything that game posts which usually is fine but with this particular game (which I will not name for fear that I might say something offensive about it) once you get to a curtain point to continue you have to get three people (other players I think but you may send requests to non players) to 'help' you get to the next part of the game. Now helping you is as simple as clicking the button to say they accept your request but as I an about to try and explain the whole thing gets quite nerve-racking.
So there are two groups of people you would consider. The first is your semi close friends that are non players. These are the people who care enough about you to take the time to pretend to play the game and accept the request but don't care enough to worry about the fact that you have spent hours getting to this point and that by them helping you they will be enabling this new addiction. The second group is of course other addicts, your friends who are already players. The first targets would be those who are past you in the game firstly because someone had to help them across so they kinda owe it to the world to help others and secondly because these are the hard core addicts who will see helping you as an opportunity, if they help you, you will help them when they need to get across to future levels. So what you have is this group of people secretly bonded by the same dirty little secret relying on each other for our next 'hit' as it were.
Now the sad thing is probably not the fact that I or anyone else play the game but how much thought I personally have put into the politics of playing it. Like I said to help you get across the all the person has to do is click their mouse. It's not like I'm asking for something big so why am I so worried about who I ask, these people are my friends!!! Being self conscious makes life so much more complicated.
Also like I said this is an addiction, I don't even like the game anymore. Well I do but in some self destructive way not in a fun way. Like I have mentioned in previous posts, I have an addictive personality. It's a good thing that that the things I expose myself to and become addicted to are limited to relatively harmless things like T.V shows and Internet based games.
So as you can see I'm using my holiday time in an extremely productive manner. (Please note the sarcasm, I'm no that deluded)
In the time it has taken for me to write this post my lives have been slowly replenishing so once I press publish I will painfully use them up and then go have lunch.
Maybe next time I'm about to start playing a Facebook game I will stop and think before I go down this dark road again. Who am I kidding, after the first level I will be hooked.
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